Day-glo Orange / INP - India 10

This post is not about caution tape or warning signs. While some say that India could use this, I do not begrudge it for lacking warning signs in or on its boarders. Frankly, this is probably because I am tired of seeing warnings in the U.S.

This post is about a get-rich scheme of mine involving letter and road numbers. Much like the Alaska plan, I have no doubt in the efficacy of my get rich quick scheme. For today I fell afoul of the directional system of India.

My plan is a little like this:
Step 1: Get to where you need to be
...
Step 3: Profit!

The genesis of my plan occurred when I boarded a bus into the city, as per normal. I usually board a bus with one of three neighborhoods or 5 numbers on it. The bus I boarded had the city center listed instead of a neighborhood or number.
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I tell the conductor I want to go to the city center. "We don't go there." So I get off at a transfer point and caught one of the 5 buses.

I get off the bus with a nice government worker who shepherds me through the security entrance so I can get to the office without walking an extra mile. Of course the government building I enter has no floor plan or directory.

So, I wander until I find where I think I want to go (standard Greg in India procedure) and then I ask a person behind a desk, "Is this where X progress report is?" They then bring me to someone else, who usually brings me to a third person. Only today the third person didn't show up, so at 11:30 rather than the normal start time of 10:30, I get to the records room. This works splendidly until the librarian has to go to the library he normally works at, which means I have to get permission from his superior to continue there.

The superior gives me permission, but tells me I should immediately talk to someone else. This someone else gives me a 3rd person in another building. This other building is only a few kilometers away, but no one can point it out on a map or give an address (because addresses don't exist, just landmarks). They can only give direction that it is behind Irrumzentale neighborhood and near the Taj Residency Hotel.

So I go to the Taj Residency, show them the office name (Engineer-in-Chief of the state rural water supply) and the Taj gives me bad directions. So I go to the nearby National government building with a rural water mandate and they give me bad directions. So I go to the nearby Taj Krishna (maybe they switched hotel names) and they direct me to the offices of the Metropolitan Water Supply rather than the offices of the Rural Water Supply. The Metropolitan Water Supply has no idea.

Then I walk to the center of the neighborhood and show my information to three irrigation or water coordination offices I come across. The first doesn't have anyone who speaks English. The second only knows it isn't in there building, and the third, who can't direct me offers to have his driver take me there.

His driver chooses to use his own motorcycle, so I hop on the back, and ride to the Rural Water Supply, within a few hundred meters of the Metropolitan Water Supply. To the MWS's credit, there were office buildings and apartments between us. Nonetheless, 3 hours to go a few kilometers is inexcusable.

Incidentally, there was some rioting here when helmet laws began to be enforced and about half the drivers darting between trucks and buses lack helmets.

Back to the main point-
Step 0: day-glo orange house and building numbers painted on the street (so people will see and use them) and numbered by 5's (for future construction possibilities). The first city that enforces this would have such a marked increase in navigability, it would be worth the paint. Buildings should have directories. And somewhere or other, the metropolitan area should publish a bus map.

These increases would allow everybody in India to reach Step 1, and then there is no telling how long until Step 3: Profit!

When I get back to my dorm, I go use the bathroom. The fluorescent light doesn't turn on when I switch it, so I flick it off and get shocked. It takes a moment to register that I am feeling pain and pull away. I swear for the first time in 2 months. I then flicked the switch on (down in India) with my toothpaste. After using the toilet I went to turn the light off (up), and guess what happens? My other arm starts jerking and I swear for the second time in as many months.